Umbridge Haters and HP Fans: How is this?

27 Ways to Annoy Dolores Umbridge





1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup.





2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor.





3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue.





4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher.





5. Tell her that Cornelius Fudge only hired her to scare small children.





6. Dye all her clothes black.





7. ...when she acts horrified, say you were only trying to help her, and that ';black is the new pink.';





8. Send her love notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge.





9. Perpetually use the word ';umbrage.';





10. Remind her constantly that her ';Selwyn Family Heirloom'; contained the shreds of the most evil wizard of modern times.





11. Create your own Educational Decrees to contradict her's.





12. Make sure these said Decrees are identical to her own. Post them everywhere.





13. Turn all of her kittens into toads.





14. Talk in stage whispers about ';army meetings,'; ';Dumbledore,'; and ';Harry Potter.'; Should she confront you, stop talking, smile, and whistle innocently.





15. Tell her you're doing a Herbology project and want to know more about the plants in her natural habitat.





16. Buy her Weasleys' Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs for Christmas.





17. Ask her if she's read the latest edition of the Quibbler. When she says no, offer her one.





18. When she's within earshot, announce loudly that Snape was a better headmaster than she was.





19. Or if you're feeling particularly daring, announce that Sir Cadogan would make a better headmaster.





20.Offer her a free membership with S.P.E.W.





21. Tell her that you didn't do your homework because ';progress for progress sake must be prohibited.';





22. Ask her if she wears that mask all the time, or just when she's teaching.





23. Ponder loudly whether the title ';Hogwarts High Inquisitor'; sounds quite as powerful as, say, ';Muggle Prime Minister.';





24. Present her with a voodoo doll with an uncanny resemblance to her, but just before giving it to her, stash it away, muttering, ';Oops, that one's Harry's...';





25. Buy her a pet Niffler.





26. Ask her why she didn't transform into a beautiful princess when she recieved her first kiss.





27. ...cut yourself off before you finish the question, look like you just realized something, then pat her arm consolingly and say, ';Don't worry. Not everyone is cut out for love.';





40 ways of irritating people who don't like Harry Potter





1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.





2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.





3. Quote Dobby.


sorry 4th one missing....





5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.





6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.





7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.





8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.





9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.





10. Make them play Quidditch with you.





11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.





12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public.





13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK.





14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.





15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.





16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker.





17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life.





18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.





19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.





20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.





21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.





22. Say, ';Anything off the trolley, dear?'; in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.





23. Pretend you can do magic.





24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.





25. Yell ';Get away from me, Death Eater!'; whenever they get near you.





26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.





27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.





28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.





29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with ';Three turns should do it'; in a very serious voice.





30. Break any awkward silences by saying, ';How 'bout them ChudleyUmbridge Haters and HP Fans: How is this?
UMBRIDGE


Put a permanent swamp in Umbridges office... :)


Steal her blood-ink pen and write 'Umbridge is a Moron' until it appears on the back of your hand.. then go show her.


Invite her to a party to whom you have also invited Professor Trelawney, Hagrid, Grawp, centaurs, threstrals, house elves and other so called 'half-breeds'.





HARRY POTTER


Whisper about You-Know-Who all the time until they ask who he is.


Ask them if they have a bad case of U-NO-POO


While theyre asleep tatoo a lightning scar on their forehead. When they awake exclaim that they are the chose one..


If they annoy you, tell them to stop or youll put the cruciatus curse on them.


Instead of talking about footy, talk about quidditch.


Constantly quote everything Luna has ever said.. BLIBBERRING HUMDINGER!.. etc etc.








cant think of anything else...Umbridge Haters and HP Fans: How is this?
hhahahahahahahahha they all rock!!!


i hate umbridge!!!
They are all really good and funny.


Some great ideas, i might have to try a few





don't know any myself
annoying umbridge is easy give her a nice big potrait of centaurs
To irritate people who don't like Harry Potter





whenever they ask you if you've seen anything reply I've noticed the moon is very large tonight. (gosh I hope I didn't screw that up... it's from the first book.)





if something weird happens just tell them you suspect the nargls(sp?) did it.





always ask them if they have an extra pair of radish earrings.





every once in a while start talking about how much [insert girl character name here(for me it's Lavender Brown, but some people might like her)] is a sl*t and don't tell them who she is.





every time they get upset over a guy/girl tell them it's just like when the beast inside Harry roared, but the beast would soon purr for her/him too!





whenever they like somebody, but they can't get that person to like them tell them to ask Romilda Vane if she's got any more tricks.





haha thank you so much for this! I really liked the Weasly is our King one that other person posted also. all of yours were great! ha sorry I couldn't think of anything for Umbridge. =)





Long Live Harry Potter!
I love them!





ANNOYING UMBRIDGE:





Talk in a not understandable accent





Give her a gift of Weasley Wizz鈥檚 disguised as chocolate





Give her ten year old teeth breaking candy





When she tries to confiscate their stuff lick it and then hand it to her





Overflow the castle with beach balls





ANNOYING ANTI-HARRY POTTER FANS





Ask them loudly, all the time kind of broomstick they have and what quidditch team they go for





Make an I LOVE HARRY POTTER fan club and nag them until they join. Give them an ILHP badge and whenever you see them not wearing it scream at them





Do the same thing, except start a SPEW club





Recruit them to JKR's army- J-K Rowling's army.





That's all I can think of...
Umbridge Question:


Ask her constantly in a childish high pitched voice: 'How's ';Corney'; today?'





Harry Potter Question:


Annoy those who dislike the supremely awesome Harry Potter by constantly singing Wesley is our King, loud and proud.





Sorry, I'm not to good at this kind of thing.
my friend is a HUGE twilight fan so I....





Make her call me Moony





Insist that she looks like hermione





I bought her a time turner, and when ever things go wrong and ask her to turn it three times





Her nickname is Wormtail





I do use a fake british accent





I look up in the sky and randomyl scream ';OMG IT'S A THESTRAL';








We went to Kings cross over the summer and made her run into platform 9 and 3 quarters with me





I actually got the dark mark tatoo and bought HP glasses and ran around the mall screaming with my friend who was about to kill me ';HARRY HAS JOINED THE DARK LORD!';





yah what is she gonna do to me? throw glitter on me and go into spams and say she is getting a vision?