Do you like a snippet of my book. IT's a harry potter book about lily and severus. ?

Hi. I did post a paragraph about a book i was making and that's really well so thanks for all the advice. It's going great and recently I have been copying better with the death of my cousin and I have someone who comes in and helps me so thanks again. I'm powering through.


I'm starting a book called Always. It's set in the time of the marauders and it's about Lily and Severus, my two favourite characters in the harry potter series.


I hope you like it so far, sorry about the spelling mistakes and it would be great to hear your thoughts, idea and any advice.


Always





Severus tried to take Lily to classes, Lily liked his companying, Severus loved her company. Of course, students stared at them, hissing at our strange mix, green and red… were frowned upon by students. Yellow and blue and red were fine…


Severus always had dreams… James Potter, the perfect Gryffindor and his gang. I’ve had enough of their crap, he would say out loud in his sleep. I need Lily, her emerald eyes penetrate my eyes, starrying my dreams, The climate of my oblivion, the unconciousness if electrifying.


After their first broomstick practise, Lily groaned. “I’m hopeless.” Groaned Lily. As the whistle blew. She turned to Severus for comfort, but he was too busy being airborne bullied on his broomstick. Sirius Black, tall and wiry, it was remarkable how young he was too have thick bands of muscle around his arms and torso, a host of minor scars and long black hair and blue eyes; was enclosing upon Sverus on his broom, spitting out profanities of all sorts, spells and Latin language that only the posh Blacks would have learnt. A glimpse of his good looks could be sene through his grin as he Severus fell to the ground. Tears were meandering Severus’s face.


Lily sighed and ran over to Severus.


“Stop there Lily. Snivel- “ the flying coach blushed and bit his tongue.


“See, even the teacher’s think he’s pathetic, Alright there Sev!” James laughed. Peter, short and purple-faced, snorted. Lupin shook his head.


“Everyone inside, Lily, take Mr Snape.” He frowned. “to the sickbay. Black, over he please!” he barked.


James smirked and disappeared with the rest of the class back up to the class. “Come on, Severus.” Said Lily. Severus stopped crying and straightened his back. Severus walked behind her, blood dripping from the depp cuts traced across his body. James jogged over to Lily, ignoring Severus from behind who suddenly stopped wimpering, and gave a dark look of loathing towards him. t. “You and Snivelus, huh?” he posed, his tone rebellious. He looked round at Severus who was looking at his feet as he walked but it was obvious he was listening with resentment, and was shaking uncontrollably.


“His names Severus… leave him alone, leave us alone! That’s none of your business, James.” Lily warned, casting a fiery look at him, his untidy sable hair, his wide mischievous chocolate eyes irritating Lily, yet somewhere in her heart they dazzled her. She tried to stop herself, she felt as she was betraying Severus, her best friend. The boy who was crying like a bay, watching her feat as she walked. “I’ve told you before , I want to vomit when I look at you.” James expression looked weary, like he didn’t want to hear Lily’s words. Severus was thankful for Lily sticking up for him, yet he wished she could of said nothing, like she was pitying him and everyone knew he was useless.


“I don’t like it.” James muttered, acting as though Severus wasn’t there.


“You don’t have too. I don’t need your stupid permission, I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you. “


“Don’y you feel embarrassed when your with him.”


“Shut your face. Lily turned slowly round, smiling. James whipped round, sneering.


James lingered on his breath, knowing he was going to say something awful, swallowed, kissed Lily on the cheek lightly and walked away, hands in his pockets. Snape growled under his breath.





Dedicated to my cousin, Juliet who passed away two weeks ago.


Do you like a snippet of my book. IT's a harry potter book about lily and severus. ?
ever heard of copyright infringement? i'd look into it if i were you... it's a felonyDo you like a snippet of my book. IT's a harry potter book about lily and severus. ?
there are a lot of words waiting to be corrected, its sweet though and has a good use of language.





and its plagarism-copyright, so you cant sell it.
lol. it's quite good, but you have got a few grammatical errors in there!





I LOVE SNAPE TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! %26lt;3






IT IS REALLY GOOD!!! :)
Ignore the people's comments being mean to you about copyright laws. They are right, technically you can not sell this as a book, or make any money off it, or claim it as your own, because that is illegal.





BUT. There is a site called www.fanfiction.net that is basically a collection of stories like you have written, about characters from a book/movie/tv show, that have been written by fans and budding writers. You can not legally earn money or claim the characters as your own, but as long as you put a disclaimer (a note saying that the original characters and harry potter books are not yours and that you are not earning money) then you can put your story on this site, and let people read it. I know, not as satisfying as publishing it, but unless you write something completely original, this is the best you can do. I write stuff all the time and put it on this site, so check it out, because its awesome.(Please do not try to publish this story illegally, i'd hate to see you in jail just for wanting to write!)





As for the writing itself, its pretty good, and you have a good storyline. Keep writing, keep dreaming, and hopefully you can publish something of your own some day. :)





Jaz