63 ways to p*ss of a cop?

1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';





2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.





3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.





4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......





5. Ask if you can see his gun.





6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.





7. Touch him.





8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.





9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.





10. Refer to him by his first name.





11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.





12. When he says no, cry.





13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.





14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.





15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.





16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.





17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';





18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.





19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';





20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.





21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.





22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';





23. Trip and fall into him.





24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.





25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.





26. Chew on the pen, nervously.





27. Clean your ear with the pen.





28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.





29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....





30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.





31. Act like you are retarded.





32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.





33. Mumble to yourself.





34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?





35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......





36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.





37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!





38. Ask if he watches Cops.





39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.





40. Giggle if he did.





41. Talk to your hand.





42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.





43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.





44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.





45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.





46. Try to sell him your car.





47. Ask if you can buy his car.





48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.





49. Play with the siren.





50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.





51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner





52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.





53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.





54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.





55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.





56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.





57. Turn your head and whistle.





58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.





59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.





60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.





61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';





62. Tell him you like men in uniform.





63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Wow those are excellent. Thanks for sharing. Have a star.63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Excellent
Brilliant list hun....pmsl
haha. i like 11.
Some were cute...I didn't get past 30 though... I do want to give you some advice on numbers 25-28, you aren't actually using his pen. The cop has two pens, one for his use and one for yours. So the pen you are picking your nose with and that is in your ear or you are chewing on has been used by EVERY other driver he has pulled over, imagine what is on that pen. And it doesn't bother him, his pen is safe in his pocket..
good ones
here are afew more I did accidently that is:


pulled over for spot check on car and asked to turn my left indicator on I did but he said it would help if you put ignition on! Ops


Then asked during same spot check to now put full beam on to which my reply was ';Where is that never used it';


His reply was car ok go home get out the maual and read how your bloody car works madam!!!!


Daughters in back crawling under seat in embarrasment and left the police falling about with laughter oh the shame!!!!lol
that is cool. sure he's gonna p*ss


star for u
i wanna try some of them.
This is so good they should make a movie about it!
i've written everyone down i'm going to use them!
lol..these are great..thanks for sharing them : )
very good you can have a star
hahaha love it!!!
That is a brilliant list. I like those. Have a star. Thank you.
well done hun great list. ive taught you well


starred
FUNNY. but i like chatting them up it's so funny. bless them.
good ones m
Lol , that was so funny , totally worth reading !! Thanks ... oh and I gave you a *star* !
thanx for the giggle!


ill be passing these on to my friends very funny!


Question how do they get the holes in doughnuts....?


or dont i wanna know.....!
hahaha some of these I have tried myself, no wonder I have a wanted pic in the police station j/k lmao....star!
Hehe well you could also just pull down your trousers and take a leek on him, or even cheekier, turn around and take a dump on his shoes :D
Star for you-they were brill hun-


Last week i parked outside the shop on a zig-zag-a cop came and told me to move it-he said i could put 3 points on your license for that-i said no you cant-i havent got a licence!!xxhehe
haha those are funny! :)





Have a star! *-*
and that is when he arrests you..
thats hilarious





luved it!
Good list!!





The best way to p*ss off a cop is to be very nice and polite to them. It really confuses them!!
Good list
nice one. have a star
Exactly how many of these do you hae experience with?
fatastic